Zi Hui's introductory letter (Updated as of 23/11/2023)
Subject: Zi Hui’s self introductory letter
Dear Prof Blackstone,
Good day to you Professor. I am Wong Zi Hui, a mechanical engineering
undergraduate student from class S21. Prior to admitting into Singapore
Institute of Technology, I graduated with a diploma in aerospace electronics in
Temasek Polytechnic.
My interest in engineering started when I was learning
Design and Technology (D&T) as one of the school subjects back in secondary
school. The hands-on activities where I get to create and craft movable
mechanisms using simple rotary methods sparked my interest in engineering.
Wanting to learn more about engineering, I chose to study engineering at a
diploma level and subsequently, at an undergraduate level.
I enjoy rollerblading since I was 8, turning this hobby
into a side hustle, I am working part time as a rollerblading instructor. And
the biggest challenge I face as an instructor is explaining to younger students
how to execute specific move in rollerblading by relating each movements to
their daily activities, for an instance instead of telling young students to
bend their knees and squat, I will just simply tell them to imagine themselves
sitting on a chair. Breaking down and explaining in a less technical way allows
me to communicate with young students more effectively.
However, no one is perfect, my flaw in communication is the
ability to speak confidently to a large group. I remember giving my first
individual class presentation in polytechnic vividly, I was overwhelmed by the
number of eyes staring at me, feeling nervous, I started trembling in anxiety.
It gave me a lasting impression and motivated me to improve on my composure
when presenting.
Jack of all trades is a master of none, but it's better
than a master of one. My various part-time working experiences throughout the
years since post-secondary education have taught me to work with people from
all walks of life and develop my problem-solving skills.
By the end of this module, I hope to hone my communication
skills and be able to speak confidently and effectively in formal
presentations. Additionally, to be able to think critically when evaluating. I
look forward to achieving these goals under your guidance.
Yours sincerely,
Wong Zi Hui
Hi Zi Hui, really enjoyed reading your introductory letter as I see similarity in you with me. Really nice and I know it can be a pretty challenging job when it comes to being an instructor or educator.
ReplyDeleteJust some things that i would like to feedback on:
1)Your secondary paragraph is a little lengthy, if it is possible, try to break the sentences down.
2) Flow of sentence, can put it in a way like: I chose to pick up engineering for my diploma, and further my studies in the field of engineering now here in SIT.
Can avoid like "level" 2 times as you can rephrase your sentence.
3) Dear "Prof", can be replace with Professor as it is still a formal introduction but a friendly one.
4) When you talk about your weakness, maybe you could share more of your approach/counter to solve the problem?
Just my feedback😅, hope that it helps you!
Hi Philbert. I greatly appreciate your effort in providing such detailed pointers! I'll take note of these pointer when editing my letter.
DeleteRegards,
Zi Hui
Zi Hui I really like your letter. Seeing your interest started from D&T, make me happy as my passion for engineering sparked during my secondary school days. I can see that your weakness is addressing large crowd. Its the same for me too and I am hoping to overcome it in this module as well. Lets overcome our fear together with Prof Brad. Looking through your letter, you didn't mention what differentiates you from others. I do believe you have more strengths. Overall, very concise and informative. 👍
ReplyDeleteThank you You Cong for pointing out the missing point in my letter, and I'll add my elaboration on what makes me unique from others in my edit. I also do look forward to strengthen our weakness together.
DeleteRegards,
Zi Hui
Hi Zi Hui, that is a good introductory letter. It was interesting to learn you teach rollerblading on the side, I would imagine teaching will really help you build skills to a great leader. I understand your weakness in communication skills stems from your anxiety when speaking to a crowd. Hopefully you can learn to overcome that during this communication course! Lets work hard together to upgrade our communication skills! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very informative letter, ZiHui. I especially appreciate learning about the motivation for you to study engineering. I also am impressed by what you describe as your "side hustle"and the need to communicate with your students.
ReplyDeleteWe will ceratinly address ways for building confidence before and after presentations.
In the spirit of similar constructive feedback, here are a few language issues to revisit in this letter:
1. Use of caps
-- I am Wong Zi Hui, a Mechanical Engineering undergraduate student from Class S21. Prior to admitting into Singapore Institute of Technology, I graduated with a diploma in Aerospace Electronics in Temasek Polytechnic. > (Which caps are needed and which are not?)
2. sentence structure
-- Additionally, to be able to think critically when evaluating. > (fragment) ?
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Thank you Prof Blackstone for your time and effort to examine my letter, especially when you have tonnes of letters to look through. I will keep in mind that I have to correct on words or phrases that does not require capital letters, and I should elaborate more on my final paragraph. See you in the next lesson!
DeleteRegards,
Zi Hui